It's Steve (now in blog form)

I’ve got a real gem for you all this morning. I give you Sorry I Missed Your Party. It’s a fine collection of the worst of folks’ party photos collected from around the web. At 6 in the morning, this is tickling me in just the right way.

A human pyramid of people I don’t want to have sex with
The composition skillfully draws the eye toward the center, thusly confronting the viewer with the reality one’s own boner deflation.

I think we all need to take a second and reflect on the raw nerd commitment the video below must have taken. It is rare that you find something to rival Star Wars Asciimation. Takes about 10 seconds for the video to appear.

transforming cigarette boxes

I’m having some issues with my self image. Wiley finally got me to watch the new Battle Star Galactica series, and, god help me, I really like it. I don’t want a Viper Mark 2 as much as an X-wing, but it’s pretty freakin close. I have now moved another rung down the dork scale:

Normal people
Star Wars Fan – Old dork level
Battle Star Galactica Fan (New series) – New and improved dork level
Star Trek Fan
Battle Star Galactica Fan (Old series)
Comic Book Fans
Dr. Who Fans – Bottom of the dork food chain. Very sad with their little scarves

What is to become of me?!?

Now, on a completely unrelated note, you must all go on an adventure to Candy Mountain. If I’d had milk with me, it would have come out of my nose.
Charlie the Unicorn

I’m flying today, so this is going to be a random smattering of disjointed thoughts. WELCOME TO THE BIG RAMBLE!

Flying sucks – You’d think that having my own kid would make me more sympathetic to folks traveling with infants. You’d be wrong. I hate them.

The new Hulk movie is going to be lame – I don’t think it is necessarily going to suck because of the script, direction, or acting. I think it’s going to be crappy because the Hulk is not an interesting character. He’s a one trick pony. The freaking Jolly Green Giant at least the ability to cough up a solid, albeit disturbingly Santa-like, catch phrase. I’d rather spend $10 bucks to see Wonder Twins powers activate than the inevitably protracted fight scenes Hulk is bound to offer.

I’m really tired of the Red Hot Chili Peppers – The chick in the seat next to me on the plane is listening to them. She has poor taste in music.

Juicy Couture is neither couture nor particularly juicy – Discuss

Venture Brothers may be the best show on television – The third season is finally airing on Cartoon Network. I’d strongly advise tuning in and catching up with the DVD’s of the earlier seasons. This is one of the few shows that makes me giggle like a Japanese school girl (tee hee!).

Apple has unbelievably good marketing – I know that the iPhone is impractical as my work device. It doesn’t even have a real keyboard. I know that it would be stupid to carry two phones around. But, god help me, I want one so bad! Damn them and the gadget lust they inspire!

Teslas are really cool – You have to respect Tesla for finally floating an electric car that is fast and sexy. Every prior attempt has been, at the design level, the automotive equivalent of a pocket protector (Yeah, we know you’re smart but that thing guarantees you won’t get laid). I assume this is either a reflection of Detroit being in kahoots with big oil, or, more likely, that electric cars have been mostly designed by the super high-tech auto divisions where the dorkiest engineers are kept (“hey guys, should it look more like an Y-wing or Dalek?”) Hopefully, this will help to popularize the technology.

My wife is getting really strong – She took up aerial arts about a year ago. She does tissue (scarves hanging from the ceiling), hoop (big metal hoop hanging from the ceiling) and Spanish web (rope hanging from the ceiling). All that climbing and acrobatics is really building her muscles. I’m concerned that she might one day turn on me. She’d probably kick my ass at this point. Fortunately, I still have guile on my side….

Your band/script/novel is not good – Everyone thinks so, but is just being nice about it.

Arriving in the midwest. End of blog.

I think the engineering problems surrounding freeway traffic are pretty compelling. I think the principles translate to a variety of odd applications online and in physical merchandising. This is the best graphical representation of “traffic wave” formation I’ve seen. Props to Ming for calling it out.

This guy has pretty good traffic pattern summaries as well.

Normally, I’m a pretty big supporter of Fox (they pay me). Today, however, I’m concerned that their judgment may have slipped past the point of reasonableness. In fact, if Fox was an elderly family member, this is the moment where I’d start thinking about putting them in a home.

The problem comes with their valuation of content. What is an artistic creation worth? I just got the list of movies available to Fox employees through the company store. Two immediately caught my eye and have gotten my dander up.

Patton (Blue Ray Disc) – $39.98
Point Break (Blue Ray Disc) – $39.98

Come on! That’s just crazy! Sure, Point Break is a classic tale of one undercover cop’s struggle to hold on to his ideals while facing his own mortality and being “gnarly”. I get that. But in what bizarro red kryptonite fearing world are we living in when some guy in distribution set these two next to each other and went, “Yeah, those are both about 40 bucks”? Artistic merit aside, Patton is 50 minutes longer (52 minutes longer in Sweden). That’s got to be worth something.

Back in the bargain bin where you belong, Johnny Utah!