It's Steve (now in blog form)

If you’re like me, you’ve noticed the recent trend of animals wearing underwear.  I, for one, think this sort of behavior is immoral if not criminal (I refer you to Leviticus 47:13-17 “And if thou should keep the law, the fashioning of undergarments for the beasts of the field shall be deemed unclean. Especially for pigs”).  Just look what has been turning up in my neighborhood!

This is a poodle running amok in the park flaunting his ass-less chaps. Disgraceful. (Note: It was pointed out to me that if chaps had an ass they would be pants.  While I understand this, ass-less chaps is fun to say).

Let’s all take a moment to contemplate the meaning of this sign. “In stock now! SQUIRREL UNDERPANTS.”  Were they previously unavailable?  Is it important for the squirrel to conceal his shameful swimsuit region?  Why the hell is the frog so happy about this?  

Forget the threat of gay marriage people.  There is a war against traditional, wholesome Christian values in this country and the front lines are manned by the animal lingerie peddlers.  Do you want your children growing up in an America where goats and ducks sport tasteful lacy panties with tiny bows and a little lace round the leg to accentuate curve of the hip?!?  I didn’t think so.  Feel free to write you congressman or local conservative AM talk radio host.  Spread the word!

There have been some really good signs around the last few weeks.  

This was at an gas station on Pico.  Now, I’m not a lawyer, but I’m pretty sure there’s a legal issue with telling the handicapped (is that the acceptable term these days?) folks to stuff it.  ”Hey there Gimpy, no gas for you!”

This is the worst section numbering plan I’ve ever seen in a parking garage.  Only mildly understandable since it is the parking structure for Cedar Sinai.  
Patient: “Doctor, where should I park for the appointment?”
Doctor:  ”Let me just check your chart…”

Of the many automatic gate signs I’ve seen, this one seems to promise the highest level of bodily harm.  

When naming a new company, I’d generally suggest not putting the terms “Jet” and “911″ together.  Too soon…

Ben has definitely become a kid instead of a baby at this point.  Check out his recent pics.

Stuffed animals are pretty popular these days.  He really likes his kitty.

I need to remember to not keep the stickers where they are reachable by people under 4′ tall.

I actually like ice cream sandwiches this much too.
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I used to wear a cape full time.  Now I only wear it on holidays.

The playground is really really really fun.

It may just be my tinfoil hat paranoia talking, but I’m concerned about the spread of plastic cows in West Los Angeles.  Sure, no one gives it a second thought when a life-size plastic cow turns up outside of a steakhouse or butcher shop.  And we were willing to assume that the family down the street from me was just quirky/insane when they put one on their roof.  But things are starting to get out of hand.

I was cruising through a normal residential neighborhood when I spotted this.

That’s right, another yard overrun by a full sized plastic cow.  This can only mean one thing: there’s a plastic cow hive somewhere in West LA.  Try to stay calm.  In the event you should encounter a free range plastic cow:

• Verify that the cow is indeed plastic.  This can be tested by striking the cow repeatedly in the skull with a hammer.  If your karma is irrevocably ruined, then the cow was not plastic.
• Do not approach the plastic cow.
• Flag down the nearest plastic rancher or cowboy.
• Do not invite them into your yard or house (standard vampire rules apply).
• Do not attempt to eat the plastic cow.

Hopefully we will be able to locate the queen and squelch this menace before it’s too late.

The super secret project continues unabated, but here are some recent bits to keep you up to date.

Ben has discovered Mr. Potatohead and his unfortunately placed storage compartment.  Poor Mr. Potatohead looks really surprised.

I had dinner the other night with some of the OG MySpace crew.

Does Passion Furniture differ from regular furniture in form or function?

Call center operator: “No ma’am, have you tried giving your traffic some warm milk or thorazine?”

Ben started preschool today.  It’s pretty crazy that my little guy isn’t so little anymore (made me sad a little).  He came home with scrapes and a bruise on his forehead so it looks like he had a lot of fun. Here are some pics of his first day of school.