It's Steve (now in blog form)

I’m back from China and the day is not off to a good start. About 2:30AM Mr. Jetlag kicked in and got me out of bed. Some real sleep would have been nice, but what can you do? You know you have jet lag when 3AM Saved By the Bell doesn’t put you to sleep.

Anyway, about 4:30AM Ben decided to wake up screaming and join me. That sounds nice but has resulted in a very grumpy baby who now has no interest in napping. My brain is very confused what time/day it is, and the screaming just won’t stop. Kim has wisely chosen to leave the house and run errands.

Just to top it off, I forgot to take a pen out of my pocket and have subsequently ruined all of my jeans. Anyone have any ideas on getting massive ink stains out of denim that has already gone through the drier? I am very tired and have no pants. I think I may work from home today.

Update: Kim managed to get all of the ink out of my pants. Turns out that cheap hairspray applied liberally dissolves even set in pen ink. A quick run through the washer and everything has returned to groovy. Consider me flabberghasted.

I hope Captain Lou Albano isn’t dead. You poor bastards are going to have this stuck in your head for days. I know I do.

I’ve got a couple of new fixations. First, I’d really like to see the aurora borealis. How can you not dig such a dramatic display of magnetism in the ionosphere?

I’m also increasingly interested in old newsreels of unbelievable events. You’ve all seen the Tacoma Narrows Bridge footage, but how about the sodium disposal below? In a time before folks worried about safety or the environment, there was some awesome film being produced.

Priest Fashion Show

The last few days have had me thinking about groups. What drives people to aggressively associate around a particular activity or interest? Some groups that I’ve been thinking about:

Comic-Con – This is the granddaddy of comic conventions. I’d like to go, but I think we’d all generally consider this the bastion of dorks. Here’s the thing, 125,000 people attended it last year. Some of them were like this. Is there a point where the attendee number becomes either so large or saturated with gold bikini Leahs that I won’t have to tell people I went for work? I suppose we can only wait and see.

Mooning Amtrak – It seems that a bunch of people get together at a particular time and place once in a while to moon Amtrak trains. I think we can all see the intrinsic awesomeness of this one. My question here is around origins. How did this become a full-fledged group?

Drunk guy 1: Hey there fella, you gonna moon that train?
Drunk guy 2: Yup
Drunk guy 1: Can I join ya?
Drunk guy 2: Yup
Drunk guy 1: I know how to make web sites….

Kickball Leagues – This one actually makes total sense to me. It’s nearly impossible to be super competitive with kickball. Even softball can devolve into a bunch of former high school meatheads trying to relive the glory days (Come on! Get the ball!). I hate those guys. Kickball is less around crazy ideas like “practice” and “play to win”. It tends to focus on solid sports fundamentals like “bbq” and “beer”. God bless these pioneers of sport.

Renaissance Faires – I have some buddies that were heavily into Ren Faires for a long time (Kit, shoot me an email buddy). On the one hand, it’s theoretically like a big camp out costume party including wenches and elves drinking ale. On the other hand, most of the wenches look like this and you’re on the slippery slope to becoming these guys:

On a totally unrelated note, here’s a site dedicated to ugly dresses

Sentimental Value is pretty amazing. They’re scavenging all of the weird clothing listings on ebay. It’s way weirder than it sounds. Here’s one

Black Khakis

Wifey says that all the Stuff hidden in the Garages, under the Bed & the Day-Bed, & all the extra cars & *Stuff* has got to start Going. (She promised me a Smart Car if I do, which with the price of Gasoline right now & Coupled with my age doesn’t appear to be too unattractive to me at this point.

Actual ebay listing

I think they missed the best part of the mysterious Black Khakis listing:

About Me:
I am a remarried father who enjoys offering quality products.
I have a dreaded ex-wife which is like having leprosy. Funny…I’ve enjoyed a very happy & solid 2nd run for almost 10 years now.
I work full time and we are raising two teenagers (one of each!).
For the past 3 years, I have worked as a Level 1/2 Senior I.T. Service Desk Technician and have a sum total of 10 years of PC/Networking experience starting with the IBM 486 Turbo Self Built (in 1997) computer.
I enjoy computer gaming and anything having to do with coffee.

Here’s the thing, I like pants. Pants are pretty handy. I’m not sure if I’d want used pants from someone who has used the word leprosy in the listing in any way, shape or form. But maybe that’s just me. Anyway, check out the site.

Update! The black khakis story has become even more interesting. A bit of research has revealed not only his completely fantastic ebay profile (the first one I’ve ever actually seen someone fill out), but he’s on MySpace! The text is everything we could hope for from the author of the Black Khaki Manifesto.

I’ve got a real gem for you all this morning. I give you Sorry I Missed Your Party. It’s a fine collection of the worst of folks’ party photos collected from around the web. At 6 in the morning, this is tickling me in just the right way.

A human pyramid of people I don’t want to have sex with
The composition skillfully draws the eye toward the center, thusly confronting the viewer with the reality one’s own boner deflation.