It's Steve (now in blog form)

I really like Kiva.  It allows me to help struggling entrepreneurs around the world striving to make a better life for their families, and really plays into my desire to be a turn of the century railroad tycoon with a monocle traveling the countryside demanding my rent (You must pay the rent. I can’t pay the rent! Bwah hah hah!)

I previously had dabbled in Azerbijani fetish footwear and Nigerian palm oil and gin.  This time I decided to listen to the sound advice doled out by the financial experts who appear on morning news shows (they wouldn’t let them on at 6AM if they we’re really legit) and diversify.  I was thinking about putting a little bit of funding in a few different loans, but then I came across Familia Unida Group.

These Bolivians are not fooling around (as if Bolivians ever do).  They are involved in:

• Construction materials
• Coca leaves (yeah, you read that right)
• Beer
• School supplies
• T-shirts
• Fruit
• A brick laying school (the trick is to buy the brick dinner first!   *Note: even I am a little disappointed  with the previous joke.  I wish I had something better but Ben keeps trying to stick Cheerios in my ear and it’s the best I can think of at the moment.)
• Sausage and french fry production
• Soft drinks
• Flower stands
• Computer graphics
• TV advertising
• “Tropical Rainbow”, probably not Bolivia’s lowest rated television show

As an expert in the Bolivian economy, I can authoritatively say that some of these probably have some sort of profit margin.  I’m bullish on the potential for the Familia Unida Group. I give it a strong Buy rating.

Feel free to shower me with gifts and/or compliments.  Of course, it’s silly of me to even think I need to remind you (my birthday always coincides with Equatorial Guinea Armed Forces Day so there’s no way you’d miss it).

I’d like to send a special thank you to the automated CRM systems that have already sent me birthday wishes this morning. Way to generate a form letter with a nightly chron job fellas.  I love you too.

I like Aardvark. It’s a cool service that lets you ask and answer questions over IM and is way more fun than it sounds. I’m a helpful guy so this is right up my alley. Here’s a sample of one of my helpful answers today

Question: (From Meraj M./M/Iselin,NJ — online now)
**fellowships**
how should I position myself for getting a hematology-oncology fellowship?

Answer: (From me)
Try something like “Hi, I’m Meraj. I like blood and cancer.”

I’d like to take a moment to consider Mr. Hotdog.  Ben and I went to the Rosebowl Swap Meet to dork around a couple of weeks ago and were fortunate enough to come across Mr. Hotdog.  He’s about 3 feet tall, has tennis shoes, and is covering himself with condiments.  It’s probably best to just show him.

Let’s talk about the elements of this piece that I find the most troubling (when I say “troubling” I mean “keeps me up at night because my brain can’t quite process the experience”).

1. Why is his shoe untied?  Is this some sort of commentary on the inevitability of his being caught and consumed? Or is it perhaps a function of the poor craftsmanship of the artist?
2. Is the lower hotdog nub functioning as a third leg (no double entendre intended) or is a hinderance?
3. I’m undecided whether his expression is one of steely determination or resignation to mastication.
4. At $40 I can’t believe I didn’t buy it.

I love you Mr. Hotdog.

The last few weeks have brought some more great signs.  So happy.

All the tech dorks are giggling.  Everyone else is confused.  All is as it should be.

This control panel is in Saint John’s Hospital in Santa Monica.  I wonder what it adjusts….

Legoland has the most brilliant bathroom signs ever. “My lego man is doing the pee pee dance!!!”

My obsessions with signs continues. Here are some I’ve come across recently.

Caught this in Toon Town at Disney Land.  The economic meltdown is much further reaching than I’d imagined.

The cafeteria at work sold me this when I asked for green Jell-o.  This is definitely not Jell-o.  It has been my experience that when food comes with a cartoon character wearing a sombrero, that’s the international sign for diarrhea. 

You should be careful of guard arms in parking lots

Special thanks go to Jake for shooting this one over.  I like labels that clearly show the item’s function.