It's Steve (now in blog form)

Ben turned two on Sunday and it’s kind of tripping me out.  I’m having a very weird sense of time.  On the one hand, it seems like we just got him.  On the other, I’m having a hard time remembering a time when he wasn’t around.  I’m not sure how it can feel both ways simultaneously.

I have the same sensation thinking about how long I’ve been married.  Kim and I got married 9 1/2 years ago.  I pretty well remember that as a fairly recent event that certainly doesn’t seem like it was almost a decade ago.  At the same time, I can’t really think of what it was like before we got married.

It’s all very confusing.  This must be the downhill slide that happens after 30.

Any way, here’s a picture of Ben at a couple months and one at two years.

Ben is a little zonked today with a stomach bug and completely ignoring me.  So let’s keep the posts coming!  Here are some of my recent pics about town.

We had a field trip- The product team headed out last week to Magic Mountain for some bbq and team building exercises.

Clearly an awesome venue with high quality, professional staff

Andrus called it. Wiley and Max are Doppelgangers.  I suspect Max is the evil one.

The guy in the Hawaiian shirt is Ken.  He’s the MC at Magic Mountain’s picnic area.  He’s had the gig for 14 years.  This is what wasting your life looks like.

Magic Mountain prohibits firearms, pepper spray, knives, and wagons.  Well done.

Ben came to the office- Ben had a field trip to the office on Friday.  Exciting activities included opening doors, closing doors, running, screaming, and saying hello.  He also met Tom (Ben previously assumed that Tom was made up).

Tesla is doomed- I imagine that it’s not ideal to launch an incredibly expensive electric sports car immediately after a market implosion.  Poor bastards.

Welcome to Neo-Tokyo- This building has been going up on my route to work for a while.  Something about the way it rises alone in a state of semi-completion along the Santa Monica corridor makes it feel like Tetsuo should come ripping by at any minute.  KANEDA!

It’s 7:15 AM and it has already been a long day.  Ben decided to get up at 5:15. He doesn’t understand daylight savings time apparently.  After a bottle and fairly gnarly diaper change we settled in for some serious Curious George time (I try to let Kim sleep in on the weekends. I’m a wonderful person).  That’s when the blinking red light on my Blackberry set off my purely pavlovian compulsion to check my mail.

Wiley had texted me for a pick up.  If you know Wiley, you’ll know how sick he’s been lately.  His yet undiagnosed illness is characterized by cycles of uncontrollable vomiting that usually last 3-4 days and end with us taking a trip to the ER when the dehydration really sets in.  It is not cool. (Full details are available on his blog).

Anyway, I was prepped for some hard core puking while I drove since that’s how things go when I drive Wiley lately.  I loaded up Ben and headed out about about 5:30 AM across town to Silver Lake.  I figured I’d take the boy and let Kim sleep in.  That’s where things went horribly wrong.

About 5 minutes on the freeway, Ben pukes.  Everywhere. For a while.  There is no smell quite like semi-digested milk.  Being the good parent I am, I figured we probably had another round or two in our immediate future and continued on to Wiley’s apartment.  By the time we got there, he was covered.

When people talk about having kids, they always tell you how magical and fulfilling it is.  They’re lying to you. Or at least glossing over what it’s really like (I’m not sure if this behavior is some sort of instinctual drive to help perpetuate the species, or if all parents secretly hate/resent the childless).  I find that a lot of parenthood revolves around being wrist deep in things that are awful. And there’s screaming.  It’s good they’re cute or they’d be in serious trouble.

So I pulled up a Wiley’s and had him bring down paper towels.  Here’s where it got tricky.  Wiley is on a vomit bender and has a hair trigger when it comes to smells.  Ben is covered in baby puke which is like the atomic bomb of puke smell.  I had to quickly wipe down and strip the baby while and unsteady Wiley waited away from the car.  Did I mention that parenthood involves being wrist deep in schmutz?

The ride home was surprisingly uneventful.  Thankfully no one decided to grace the car with any more bile.  Now we’re all back at my house trying to keep it together.  Ben is watching Pooh playing with blocks after a bath.  Wiley is sacked out in our bed looking like hell.  I’m drinking copious amounts of coffee.   I’ll be shocked if there isn’t another hospital trip in our future.  Bah.